Escape to Fairytale Germany: Lohmann's Romantik Hotel Gravenberg Awaits!
Escape to Fairytale Germany: Lohmann's Romantik Hotel Gravenberg - My Overly Enthusiastic, Slightly Unhinged Review!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because I just got back from Lohmann's Romantik Hotel Gravenberg, and let me tell you, I’m still floating somewhere between reality and…well, a slightly tipsy Disney princess dream. This place is, in a word, stunning. My jaw legitimately dropped when I first saw it, and it stayed dropped, mostly from the sheer wonder and the occasional rogue fly getting in there (Germany, am I right?).
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- Keywords: Lohmann's Romantik Hotel Gravenberg, Germany, Hotel Review, Spa Hotel, Romantic Getaway, Fairytale Hotel, Wheelchair Accessible, Family Friendly, Sauna, Swimming Pool, Restaurant, Wi-Fi, Cologne (nearby), Accessible Travel, Romantic Hotels Germany, European Getaway, Covid-Safe Hotel, Luxury Hotel, Spa, Relaxation, Hiking, Nature, Wellness, German Hospitality
- Meta Description: Dreaming of a fairytale escape? My unfiltered review of Lohmann's Romantik Hotel Gravenberg in Germany - the good, the slightly less good, and the utterly breathtaking. Dive in for accessibility insights, spa escapades, and a whole lot of German charm! (Plus, did I mention the food?)
First Impressions & The Accessibility Vibe (and My Slightly Clumsy Entrance)
So, right off the bat, accessibility is a HUGE thing for me. I’m…well, let’s just say I’m not exactly a graceful gazelle, and I appreciate a hotel that understands that. The good news? Lohmann's is pretty good. They have elevator, which is key, and I could tell the staff were prepared for guests needing those facilities. I'm not in a wheelchair, but I checked out the Wheelchair accessible information, and it seems they're making a genuine effort. The exterior corridor was easy to navigate, and the front desk [24-hour] was super helpful. (Important to note though: While they say pets are allowed, they weren’t available when I was there, boo!)
Getting through the door? Well, that's a story. Let's just say I slightly miscalculated the angle and ended up doing a faceplant into a potted plant. The staff were super understanding, and someone even brought me a hot water linen and laundry washing service. It's worth noting: I wasn't the only one who stumbled; the entire lobby had a wonderful "relaxed and a bit flustered" vibe, which I loved.
Rooms, Glorious Rooms! (And the Battle of the Blackout Curtains)
My room? Oh, my ROOM! Seriously, someone pinch me. It was like stepping into a real-life fairytale, complete with a desk I never used, a massive extra long bed I practically dove into (comfy!), and a seating area that was perfect for contemplating the meaning of life while drinking tea. They have non-smoking rooms, which is a huge win for those of us with sensitive noses (and lungs). And the blackout curtains? Game. Changer. I slept like a baby. (Or, you know, the slightly caffeinated, occasionally-waking-up-to-pee adult pretending to be a baby.)
My favorite feature: the slippers, the bathrobes, and the bottle of water, which were a nice touch. There was a mini bar, always a good sign. However, the hair dryer didn't quite live up to professional standards, but considering I was in a fairytale, I wasn't going to let that ruin my day. The Wi-Fi [free] was generally reliable, and they even had Internet access – wireless. There was also Internet access – LAN, but who uses LAN anymore?! I’m old fashioned but not that old!
Spa Days & Sauna Dreams: My Descent into Bliss (and a Tiny Panic)
Okay, let’s talk spa. This is where Lohmann's truly shines…literally. Everything about the Spa/sauna area screams indulgence. They've got a sauna, a steamroom, and a swimming pool (both indoor and outdoor, the latter with a pool with view!), plus a whole host of treatments. I opted for a massage and a body scrub (because, let's be honest, I needed both). The masseuse was an absolute goddess; I swear I could feel the stress melting away, one knot at a time. The foot bath was delightful and the Body wrap, even more so!
I’m not gonna lie, I had a mini-meltdown in the sauna, though. I love saunas, but sometimes the heat gets to me. I started seeing things – mostly visions of cheese and bratwurst. Thankfully, it's the kind of place where you can get out of the sauna.
They also have a Fitness center and a Gym/fitness, which I dutifully ignored, because, let's face it, I was there to relax.
Food, Glorious Food! (And My Attempt at Proper Etiquette)
The food. Oh. My. Goodness. The restaurants are amazing. A la carte in restaurant – check. Buffet in restaurant – check. Vegetarian restaurant – also check. I'm a sucker for a good Western breakfast, and Lohmann’s delivers! Think mountains of fresh fruit, crispy bacon, and enough coffee to fuel a small army. They had an Asian breakfast too, and I may have snuck a few bites of that anyway. I was a walking buffet, basically.
The service was impeccable, and I tried to act like I knew what I was doing, but I probably just ended up looking like a tourist. There was a coffee shop and a poolside bar, too, so basically, you could eat and drink all day long. They also do room service [24-hour] – brilliant!
Drinks and Snacks: The Unsung Heroes
The bar! I spent a lot of time at the bar, and for a very good reason. The cocktails were divine, and the bartenders were friendly and chatty. They have a happy hour, which, of course, is the highlight of any trip. There's a snack bar, which I frequented for a quick pick-me-up. And on top of it all, they had a damn fine bottle of water.
Safety & COVID-19 Stuff (Because We Have To Mention It):
Okay, let's talk about the elephant in the room. They definitely took things seriously. There was a robust list of Cleanliness and safety measures, including Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, and Staff trained in safety protocol. They even have Room sanitization opt-out available if you're feeling extra cautious. The whole experience just felt safe.
Things to Do (Besides Eating and Spa-ing)
Okay, so you actually want me to do things? Besides eating and getting pampered? Fine. The hotel is a great base for exploring the region. They have a concierge, and I am pretty sure they can organize almost anything. They have a gift/souvenir shop in case you want to take a little piece of Germany home with you.
For the Kids & The Not-So-Young-at-Heart (Me)
The hotel is Family/child friendly, and they offer a Babysitting service (if you can manage it). They really have it all!
The Little Things That Made My Stay Special (Or Annoyingly Funny)
- The Terrace: Perfect for a cup of coffee and soaking in the views.
- The Staff: Seriously, the staff made the experience. They were friendly, helpful, and had a genuine desire to make your stay memorable.
- The Elevator: Because I’m a clumsy clutz and need it.
- The Shrine: Well, I'm not sure what the Shrine was for, but it was there.
- The fact that you can opt out of room sanitization: Amazing!
- The fact that you can opt out of room sanitization: Amazing!
The Quirks (or, What Didn't Quite Work)
- The Internet: While the Wi-Fi in all rooms! was great, the occasional drop-out had me staring at the ceiling, wondering if I'd angered the digital gods.
- The Lack of Free Cheese: Seriously, Germany, where's the cheese? (Okay, maybe I just missed it).
- The slightly weird, very specific, room decorations.
- The fact that the place made me want to spend more money.
The Verdict: Go, Seriously, Just Go!
Lohmann's Romantik Hotel Gravenberg is a special place. It's not just a hotel; it's an experience. It’s a place
Escape to Fairytale Germany: Wolf Hotel zur Linde AwaitsAlright, buckle up buttercups and hold onto your lederhosen because we're about to embark on a gloriously messy, slightly tipsy, and utterly human adventure to Lohmann's Romantik Hotel Gravenberg in Germany. Forget the perfectly polished travel blogs, this is the raw, unfiltered truth.
Day 1: Arrival and Mild Panic
- 10:00 AM (ish, because who can tell time after a transatlantic flight?): Landed in Düsseldorf. The immigration officer gave me the look when I fumbled for my passport. Apparently, “Ja, ich bin hier für Schnitzel und Abenteuer!” (Yes, I am here for Schnitzel and adventure!) isn't a universally accepted answer. Note to self: Learn more actual German.
- 11:00 AM: Found the train. Successfully. Barely missed the first one thanks to a rogue luggage cart and my inherent lack of spatial awareness. The scenery whizzing by was a blur of green fields and tiny villages, and the tiny houses with the pointy roofs and I'm already feeling a little misty-eyed with the prettiness of it.
- 1:00 PM: Arrived at Gravenberg! The hotel looks like something out of a fairytale - think gingerbread house meets medieval castle. And the air! Oh, the air! It smells faintly of pine and… I don't know, magic?
- 1:30 PM: Check-in. The receptionist (a woman named Gertrude who looks like she's seen a thing or two) is wonderfully brusque. Doesn't sugarcoat anything, which I appreciate. Trying to navigate the German "welcome" is going to be a journey.
- 2:00 PM: Unpacking. My suitcase exploded, spewing socks and emergency chocolate everywhere. Decided organization is overrated. Embrace the chaos!
- 3:00 PM: Wandering the hotel grounds. Found a hidden garden with a fountain. Almost tripped over a rogue gnome (either real or very well-placed decoration, the mystery is delicious). Feeling the urge to write a gothic novel, or at least a really dramatic poem.
- 4:00 PM: Afternoon tea in the hotel's lounge. The cakes are deathly delicious. Seriously, I think I could eat an entire Black Forest Gateau right now, and probably will before the trip is over. Decided to start researching the history of the Black Forest whilst munching on a delicate pastry.
- 6:00 PM: Getting ready for dinner. This is where the mild panic set in. What do I wear? Am I underdressed? Overdressed? Did I pack anything other than hiking boots and oversized sweaters? The closet situation is looking dire.
- 7:30 PM: Dinner at the hotel restaurant. Ordered the Schnitzel (naturally). It was the size of my head. And the taste? Oh. My. God. It was pure, unadulterated bliss. The kind of bliss that makes you want to cry happy tears. Followed it up with apple strudel. Again, felt the need to weep with joy. Apparently, I’m very emotional about German desserts.
- 9:00 PM: Attempting to write in my diary. Failed miserably because said Schnitzel and strudel are now demanding satisfaction in the form of a food coma. Pass out.
Day 2: Deep Dive into Bliss (aka, The Spa)
- 8:00 AM (ish): Woke up feeling like I'd been run over by a particularly delicious train. Clearly, I'm not used to the rich German food. Coffee and a desperate search for ibuprofen.
- 9:00 AM: Breakfast. The buffet is a masterpiece of deliciousness. Cheeses, meats, breads, fruit, all calling my name. The coffee, thankfully, is strong enough to resurrect the dead.
- 10:00 AM: Deep dive into the spa. This is where the gods intended for me to be. Steam room, sauna, jacuzzi, the works. Surrounded by fluffy robes and the scent of lavender. This is the definition of heaven.
- 11:00 AM: Lost track of time and space in the relaxation room. Felt my stresses melt away. I may have even dozed off and drooled a little. Don't judge.
- 12:00 PM: Massage! I chose the “Deep Tissue De-Stress” option. The woman who gave me the massage, Greta, was a miracle worker. She found muscles I didn't even know I had.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch. Healthy this time, because I'm trying to balance the Schnitzel/Strudel/Spa equation. (Spoiler alert: It's a losing battle.)
- 2:00 PM: Back to the spa. Honestly, I could spend the entire day here.
- 4:00 PM: Hiking in the forest. Oh. My. Gosh. The trees were huge, I loved it. I may have even started talking to them. Don’t tell anyone.
- 6:00 PM: Back to the hotel for a well-deserved shower and a nap before dinner. I'm getting the feeling that I’m going to be a permanent resident of the spa very soon.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner. Ordered something different. This time, the roasted rabbit. Still delicious. So much food!
- 9:00 PM: Writing in my diary, but now I'm too relaxed to remember how to spell. This journal may become unintelligible soon.
- 10:00 PM: More chocolate. Cannot be denied.
Day 3: Exploring the Black Forest (and Maybe Getting Lost)
- 9:00 AM: Breakfast. Repeat of yesterday. Can't get enough of the breads.
- 10:00 AM: Started the day. Decided to hike in the Black Forest. It's the place of fairy tales, and I'm here for it!
- 11:00 AM: Lost. Miserably. I swear the trail markers were in German, which, as mentioned before, I don't, yet, understand. Wandering aimlessly, surrounded by towering trees and an increasing sense of panic.
- 12:00 PM: Found a tiny village! Finally. With a bakery. Salvation! Bought a pretzel the size of my face and consumed it with gusto.
- 1:00 PM: Found a lovely café in the village. Ordered coffee and cake (surprise, surprise), and asked the waitress for directions. She gave me a look that said, "You're going to die in these woods."
- 2:00 PM: Hiking again. Actually this time, making progress.
- 3:00 PM: Found a waterfall. It was breathtaking! And I'm starting to realize that I'm woefully underprepared for hiking. My "hiking boots" look more like fashion boots.
- 4:00 PM: Back to the hotel. Absolutely exhausted, but also exhilarated.
- 5:00 PM: Another spa session! Soothing my aching muscles.
- 7:00 PM: Decided to eat dinner at another restaurant. This is a restaurant where local people go to. I love that it makes me feel as if I am a local.
- 9:00 PM: Back to the hotel. Attempting to write in my diary, but my brain is mush.
Day 4: Farewell (For Now!)
- 8:00 AM: Wake up slightly sad that it is the last day.
- 9:00 AM: Breakfast. Saying goodbye to the buffet.
- 10:00 AM: Checking out of the hotel. The receptionist actually smiled at me. Possibly because I'm leaving.
- 10:30 AM: Trying to buy a souvenir!
- 11:00 AM: Boarding the train back to Düsseldorf.
- 1:00 PM: The train is departing. Looking back.
- 2:00 PM: Sitting on the plane. Thinking about the Schnitzel
- 3:00 PM: Arrive.
Final Thoughts:
This trip was messy, delicious, and utterly unforgettable. From the Schnitzel to the spa to getting lost in the forest, it was a whirlwind of experiences. I'm already planning my return. Maybe this time I’ll learn some German, or maybe not. Either way, I'm ready for more adventure!
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Escape to Fairytale Germany: Lohmann's Romantik Hotel Gravenberg Awaits! (My Brain's Already There)
Okay, so... Germany. Lohmann's. Fairytale? What *is* this place, even? Are we talking real castles and damsels in distress? (Don't judge, I'm easily swayed by Disney.)
Alright, settle down, Cinderella. No, Lohmann's isn’t a real castle in the "Disney Princess trapped in a tower" sense. But it's got vibes, *man*. Think cobbled streets, half-timbered buildings dripping in ivy, and the air just... smells of history and delicious baked goods (apparently, that's a thing). It's in the Bergisches Land region, which is already giving me "Enchanted Forest" feels. Imagine a medieval village got a makeover from a really tasteful interior designer. It's romantic, yes. Fairytale-esque? Absolutely. Damsels in distress? Hopefully not. *I* might be the damsel in distress, though, when I try to navigate the German breakfast buffet… the sheer *variety* is overwhelming, in the best way possible.
Okay, anecdote time. My friend Sarah, bless her heart, went last year. She's notoriously terrible with directions. She kept getting lost in the little town *every single day.* She'd call me, frantic, "I'm surrounded by windmills! Which way is *up*?!" (It was not helpful, because *I* do not know the orientation of windmills.) She *did* manage to find the bakery though. Apparently, the Apfelstrudel there is legendary. So, you know. Priorities.
The rooms... what are they like? 'Cause if I have to share a room with a rusty suit of armor... well, let's just say I'll be requesting a room upgrade.
Okay, breathe. No rusty armor. (Unless... maybe they have some quirky themed suites? I'm kind of hoping for a knight's chamber now...)
From the pictures, the rooms look charming. Cozy, even. Think exposed beams, maybe some antique furniture (fingers crossed for a four-poster bed!), and views of something impossibly picturesque. I've seen some photos with roaring fireplaces. Sigh. I'm already picturing myself with a book, a glass of wine, and a severe case of relaxation. And, hopefully, a working Wi-Fi connection for Instagram. (Priorities, people!)
Word on the street, the bathrooms are… well, they're not exactly the same. Some are modern, some are a little more... "vintage." I'm okay with vintage, as long as the water pressure is decent. Because a good shower is a *non-negotiable*. After a long day of exploring medieval villages (and probably eating way too much cake), I *need* a good shower. I'm picturing my hotel bathroom now and it's a whole thing. I'm slightly dreading not having hot water.
Food. Let's talk food. I'm a professional eater. Can I expect to gain five pounds in a week? (And is there schnitzel?)
Oh, honey. Prepare for a culinary adventure. Five pounds is an optimistic estimate. Think more like… “buy new pants” territory. Schnitzel? Girl, it's Germany. Schnitzel is practically a national sport. You'll find it. You *will* eat it. And you will *love* it.
I am *particularly* excited about the breakfast buffet. I'm a breakfast person. And German breakfasts are legendary. Cold cuts, cheeses, breads, pastries... and those *muffins*. I've been told they're magical. (Again, Sarah. She has very strong opinions about baked goods.) Plus, there's usually fresh fruit and, of course, coffee. Good, strong coffee. Because I'm going to need it after all that cake.
One thing, though. My aunt, bless her heart, visited Germany once. Tried to order “a salad.” Ended up with a plate of, like, pickled herring and beets. She was… not thrilled. So, be adventurous, yes. But maybe brush up on your German food vocabulary, too. Or just point and smile. Works for me. (Mostly.)
What is there to *do*? Besides eat and sleep and admire the scenery? (I'm also really good at those three things.)
Okay, so, you're going to be busy. The Bergisches Land region is packed with charm. Think hiking trails, cycling routes, and adorable little villages. I'm already planning a day trip to Cologne. (The Cathedral! The chocolate museum! Okay, mostly the chocolate museum.)
Lohmann's itself often has events. Maybe cooking classes? Wine tastings? Spa treatments? (YES PLEASE!) And let's not forget the possibility of live music. I picture some guy with an accordion, playing traditional German folk music. I'm okay with that. Actually, I'm hoping for it. It's cheesy but I can get behind it.
I'm secretly hoping to find a hidden gem. A little shop selling hand-painted ceramics, a tiny cafe serving the best hot chocolate in the world, a quirky museum dedicated to… something weird and wonderful. This is where I get the real story. And after, maybe I’ll get lost. And then find the bakery like my friend Sarah.
Okay, so... the cost. How much is this fairy tale going to cost me? My budget is currently "slightly above ramen noodles."
Alright, let's talk money. Look, fairytale vacations aren't usually budget-friendly. This isn't a hostel, it's Lohmann's! However, Germany *can* be surprisingly affordable, compared to some other European destinations.
Accommodation at a hotel like Lohmann's will be a significant chunk of the budget. Check the rates on the hotel's website or booking sites, as they change with the season and demand. But, consider it an investment! Also, factor in travel costs to/from Germany, too. Flights? Train? Buses? (I'm leaning towards avoiding Greyhound, the bus experience sounds grim.)
Eating and drinking: Food can vary significantly depending on your choices. But if you are reasonable (and avoid Michelin-star restaurants every night), you can find some delicious food in Germany that isn’t ridiculously expensive. I would suggest not eating at the hotel every night, you can find cheaper options outside of the hotel! Also, consider the cost of your planned attractions. Museums, tours, maybe even a day trip to an amusement park. I'm already calculating how much chocolate I can buy in that chocolate museum. (The answer: ALL OF IT.)
My recommendation: Do your research. Budget realistically. And then… just go. Sometimes, you have to splurge a little on something that makes your heart sing. This is one of those times. Even if I have to eat ramen for a month when I get back… it’ll be worth it.
